Posts

Showing posts from March, 2021

La Celosa Pasión de Mi Amor Cubano.

Image
 With MANIPULATION the Communist ideology infiltrated various levels of Cuban society.   With INTIMIDATION the Communists methodically silenced the dissenting voices of those who chose to remain in Cuba while freedom loving hearts and minds, sacrificed materially to fly, float or in some cases sink to their final resting place, beneath the shark filled straight North of Havana and South of the Florida Keys. And with the removal of Cuba's most able minds and pure hearts, the Communists began their DOMINATION of those who remained, removing or controlling every facet of lives of each individual and society as a whole.     Removed from the personhood of each remaining Cuban were truths that we as American hold as self evident, and endowed by our Creator as inalienable - Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.  Removed from the Life of most remaining on the island was the right to chose an education profession or employer, the right to own property, or...

ATPF - Part 2

I filled out forms online and the psychologist reviewed them. Of particular note to them was my 29 years in Alcoholics Anonymous.  They had previously attended Al Anon due to an alcoholic ex-spouse and drug abusing child so that was an initial connecting point.    If a psychologist is aware that you've been in AA for almost 30 years and have "sponsored people" they will read through your file and then confirm with a few questions that what you present is valid.   If your answers hold to what's in your file, you move up the ladder from the typical, co-dependent, whining bull-shitters coming through their door on a daily basis and they can get right to the point.  "What are the issues you are dealing with, why are we talking." "Well, the last day of November I was on business in Miami, met someone, returned after meeting them and told the mother of my children, with whom I'd been for 25 years, that I was going back to Miami to help this person as they...

At The Psychologist's Feet - part 1

Image
I've been talking to a psychologist.  Many of you are sighing with relief, "Thank God!  We were worried about you.  Please continue.  You have issues.  I mean you're a cute guy and all, and funny and nice, and emotionally available, pero dios mío, tienes suficiente equipaje para llenar al menos un camión en movimiento de 26 pies." And from the Tonight Show in Heaven, Joan Rivers rolls her eyes at all of you, "OH GROW UP.  HALF OF YOU ARE WATCHING THE HALLMARK CHANNEL 7 NIGHTS A WEEK AND THE REST OF YOU IT'S SEX IN THE CITY WHILE YOU WHITE KNUCKLE YOUR VIBRATORS UNTIL THE NEXT OPENING NIGHT OF 50 SHADES OF GREY. " Nothing but "baggage porn" of all genres.  But here is an honest man taking stock of his in some other than the limp wristed Hallmark way, and "Oh...that's too much for me to handle. You need therapy.  Lots.  Oh, but you are cute.   Call me when you've healed and have learned to love yourself." Am I wrong?  As Joan ...

Response to Comment - Striking the Pose

Image
Comment: 20 years ago or so when I was on dating sights, I was looking for ONE thing, mostly.   One characteristic mattered most - and that was HAPPY!  Was this person already happy?    If they looked sad and needy, I'd run.  But I guess you're wanting to attract someone like yourself who has a big sad hole in the heart.  So you shouldn't pretend to be something you're not.   Response: Can't we all fake a smile?    Don't we all strike a pose?   You,  I shall  push away.  Or you, I shall draw close. Is not a person's depth found in the deepest hole at the bottom of their heart ? Are not life's greatest joys, found on the other side of life's deepest sorrows ?            

Four Letter Words - AMPs - Part I

Image
"AMPS" or Asian Massage Parlors are this week's distraction from all of "whatever else is supposed to really matter" From The New York Times: Accused Gunman Had Visited Massage Parlors He Targeted, Police Say The suspect, who was a customer at two of the spas in the Atlanta area that were attacked this week, spent time in a rehab clinic for a self-described sexual addiction. Sadly, the authors of these articles, know little of massage parlors, the range of human interaction that goes on in them, nor do they understand the states of mind of the partakers, before, during and after. I need not read past the headline, to know the forboden FOUR LETTER WORD in such a NYT article.  It's the same word often uttered in the pornographic solicitations by it's purported purveyors.  The word is abusively trafficked in many forms, associated with worst and best of human emotions and experiences.  The word is a harlot.  She is bought cheaply at great cost.  She is spla...

INDEX OF POSTS

I've summarized my posts here. Click READ MORE for a complete list and descriptions.   Most posts many have explanatory reference links and all will have links to music that reflects part of the emotional context I experience with the particular subject matter.      Also note that when the subject matter involves someone other than myself, I will tweak some of the facts to ensure their anonymity.    Please feel free to leave comments.  If you are interested in submitting questions or posting your own blog on your experiences in Miami,  - EVG 3 am and alone in Miami - the origin of this blog Breaking Dates With Anger  - lost and sinking deep into anger Brown Eyed Girls  - are not women of color Butterflies in the Belly  - dating when young vs. dating at 50 Crypto Jew  - not quite Kosher.  Circumspect or circumcision? DOYALIKEIT?   - a delicious bit of Latin women Dogs & More  - a pet tale. Emotional Avail...

Motorcycle Madness - and Squeezing a Little Thigh

Image
I refer to an initial coffee date as a "business meeting".  It's the business of searching for life's partner.  It tends to relax the situation when we remove romantic connotations and related performance anxiety. I also presume as I do with all people, that there is something about them that I can find to like.  Find that.  Focus on it.  And have at least a pleasant experience.    I also assume that I can learn something about life from anyone with whom I share an hour and a cup of coffee.    With this philosophy, I am still in electronic and telephone contact with a number of metro Miami women with whom I have shared a couple of hours and coffee and the contact is now about what we are finding out there on the dating web.    In a conversation with one of these women (she is a Graduate Degree Professional Educator and fluent in 3 languages) she mentioned she had just cancelled a date.   Why?   Because after sett...

"...five o'clock in the morning, and here you are all alone.."

Image
Awake at three and now it's five a.m.   Ringing in my ears are the words "You need to spend some time learning to love yourself." Huh?   Pseudo psychology or misapplication?  Probably sold some books. At three a.m. I want to roll over and touch a bare shoulder or the soft hair of the woman I love.  I want to lay there for a few moments and watch every breath rise and fall in her chest and think of her smile, laughter and tears from the day just past.  I want to wrap an arm around her waist and without waking her, pull her into me and sleep until five o'clock in the morning. That is how I love myself. After a twenty five year relationship, it's five o'clock in the morning and here I am since 3 am thinking "I'm all alone ."   Is anyone else out there, not knowing what to do?      ..Cry? Or don't cry?...

In your eyes (dating profiles and photos)

Image
Faith without works is dead. A dating profile, without photos is dead.  "But I want them to get to know the real me."    The "real you" is evidence of your doing or looking like the person you present in your description.  A picture is worth one thousand words and reassures me that what I am reading is really about you.   People are entitled to their humanity, part of which is a biological attraction to a person with whom they might chose for an intimate relationship.  That's just one of those laws of nature that can be convenient or inconvenient depending on what you have, and what you can do with it. The more photos posted, the less likely I am wasting my time on a fake profile. I've got to be able to see in your eyes   and mouth.   99% of my time with you will be spent in communication with your eyes and your mouth.   I don't need to see your breasts or your ass.   If you have T & A photos I'm concerned about t...

EVG - El Viejo Gringo & Bailando conmigo mismo

Image
Lot's of kids come through the weapons training center where I have temporarily officed my transportation business. I met the owner at a gun show in Miramar. By kids, I mean 25-30 year old guys who are security guards, police officers, and military reservists coming in to train on the laser pistol range. Since I am there and hanging around I'm always introduced. "Buenas tardes mi nombre es E.V.G." "E.V.G ?" "Si. El Viejo Gringo" "Viejo Gringo" "No. El Viejo Gringo. Y tengo el doble de tu edad. ¿Por qué te ves tan ancho por la mitad?" "Oh COVID, no he ido al gimnasio en un año. "El Viejo Gringo tampoco, pero mírame ”. Y me levanto la camisa desde la cintura hasta el pecho. "Vaya hombre. Cómo lo haces? ¡51años y estás apretado!" "No he ido al gimnasio tampoco en un año. Seguro que como bien, pero ¿de verdad quieres saber mi secreto?" "Sí, cuéntanos."  "Acércate para que pueda susurr...

Butterflies in the belly

Image
I can recall the butterflies in the belly feeling.  Decades ago.  Now I just call it anxiety based upon a lack of experience. Jaded?  Maybe?  But I have more enjoyment of people from all walks of life and especially women than I ever did decades ago.   For one, the women that I meet now - we both have experience and stories.   We've both been through the butterflies.  We are now Tom Brady in his 10th Superbowl, or Liz Taylor in her 7th wedding.   (Yes, those are really two really horrible examples, because Tom Brady still claims to get the butterflies in the opening snap at a Superbowl.) Secondly, I know what to expect - acceptance and connection in some areas or maybe many areas, but I'm not going to entertain thoughts of "is she the one".  If she is the one - then let her be the one.  And she'll be the one without my imagining it over every woman I meet. Sans the anxiety, I still get "that feeling" when looking a woman ...

Brown Eyed Girls are not women of color

Image
I had a brief flirtation with a GOC "Girlfriend of Color"  back in the early 90's.  We were very good friends, so it was little more than a brief shack or two in between discussions on the complications of life, our relationship and race.  We were both extreme extroverts and considered life together might be too crowded.   I'd rethink that today.   Perhaps we could have been like WWF tag teams.  LaThanya, then me, while she takes a breather, then I take a breather. Later I had a client (he was a Coach) state after his divorce that he would only date women of color so that no-one could ever accuse him of dating someone because they looked like his blue eyed, blond haired ex-wife.  Today he is in his 70's and dates 20 year old strippers.  In May I'll be seeing him and a bunch of former strippers with kids in tow where he comps them rooms at a resort in Pompano Beach.  They are not his kids.  His rule is that for the first year al...

Pets are OK for me

Image
 Years ago I sponsored my veterinarian into AA.  He had been my client in a child custody hearing.  We became friends.  I took my dog to him even though his office was 45 minutes away.  At some point I realized something was off in his life and he was "sloppy" in the afternoon.   Drunk?   Couldn't tell over the phone. But one afternoon, the front desk put me through and something was just wrong.  He could not form sentences, as if he were falling asleep at 5:30 pm.  I called back to the receptionist.  There was no answer. I called 911.  A sheriff's deputy was dispatched from a nearby intersection. The deputy called me.  He could see a man slumped over a desk.   It wasn't alcohol, although alcohol had become a problem.  The problem was his second divorce and that he was searching for NO MORE PAIN with Ketamine injections (FDA tranquilizer normally used for animal surgery).   He kept his licens...

DOYALIKEIT - Te Gusta?

Image
They turn the head slightly to the left or right and then look back at you with side cast eyes, raised eyebrows and a sly smile.   "doyalikeit?" delicately quick steps from the tongue, between the teeth and lips. It's quick.  It's light.  It's perfected by by the Latin women educated in Castilian Spanish and English. El Viejo Gringo (that's me - EVG) has perfected this phrase.  I give right back to them.  Quickly, and with a wink, nod and deep dash of testosterone. And trust me - THEYLIKEIT. And DIDHELIKEIT?   Le gustó absolutamente ....

She wants: emotional availability vs. "no baggage please"

Image
I added to my dating profile, "EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE.  FIRST CLASS EXCESS BAGGAGE SERVICE.." One of my first "business dates" advised, "No one wants to hear your baggage.  Move on." But after 30 years of AA, I've watched a lot of baggage get unloaded in and after meetings.  It was claimed "a burdened shared is a burden halved" and what I saw generally bore to the veracity of that position. It also occurred to me that truthfully "sharing burdens" can be beneficial as in the following example: if the woman I am interested in, has daughters by two different Venezuelan fathers it might help if I knew and exactly how each dad might have been abusive and/or neglectful in their own particular way.  No? Maybe if I went through all of your baggage, rather than being distracted by your perfect smile, plucked eyebrows, silver streaked hair and tight little footsteps beneath that 24 carat Venezuelan ass, I might have been ready for what hit me ...

Years vs. Learning - No on is to blame

Image
I have a friend who has been divorced for several years.  He advised the best advice he received was to evaluate or judge a relationship not by the number of years but rather by the lessons learned. I had a relationship that lasted 25 years.  It had a problem from the start and it took me 25 to admit what was wrong and move on.   The next relationship lasted 2.5 months.  Going into it, I evaluated the probability of it lasting or not and gave it about a 10% chance.  But that 2.5 months dramatically changed my life and 3 others for the better, significantly and tender were those nights. Lesson learned, mission accomplished.   We have to be honest about the painful shortcomings that we may have, the other person may have or maybe there are just differences between the two of us at a particular point in life to where we can both learn and grow working through some differences and difficulties, but there will be other issues that are then evident...